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Women’s Standards vs. Desires Exposed! 🔥 | The Ugly Truth Podcast

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The Truth

shall set you free

the truth shall set you free

the truth shall set you free

hey

y’all know what time it is man it’s

another episode of The Ugly Truth and

y’all know what the truth do right the

truth shall set you free yes indeed man

yes indeed man morning episode man uh

speaking to an excellent great person

last night him

had an awesome Revelation for y’all

today right real good revelation

so we can call today we’re gonna try to

keep it as brief as possible

y’all don’t even have standards

y’all have no standards

y’all have goals and desires

I’m gonna tell you why

and if we need to we can pull up

the definition of standard right

let’s just look at it like this right

a standard is something you’re used to

there’s no way you can have a standard

of a five-star restaurant but you’ve

never been that is a desire or a goal a

standard is this is what I am used to

this is what I am accustomed to this is

what I’ve been knowing for a long period

of time

that’s a standard you’re used to it

you’re accustomed to it

you Vibe out with it you know this

a goal is usually something that you’ve

never had or haven’t got frequently

because you didn’t have it it’s a goal

most of y’all have desires

y’all have a conjure to Ideal in your

mind of what you think

the way you might feel if you get this

thing if you obtain this

go ahead y’all could ask hey what is

what is you talking about

I I want to ask y’all those who have all

of these standards

have you ever had it before

have you had what you talking about

that’s that’s that’s all I wanna know

have you ever had it

so what we talking about real quick

let’s pull up the definition of standard

real quick I I I’m a definition person

super big definition person

because I like to know the exact

definition not what you know we make up

in our minds and conjure up in our minds

so let’s go head to it

a level of quality or attainment let’s

stop right there

their restaurant offers high standard of

service where can they get this from

it is a repetitive thing they offer high

standard of service that means they do

this on a regular

ma’am

if you’ve never had a million dollar

[ __ ] a million dollar [ __ ] can’t be

your standard

y’all hollering y’all got high standards

and never had it

all I want a [ __ ] to do this he got to

be able to do this he got to do this he

gotta do this

he gotta make the money he gotta provide

he gotta talk to me this way he gotta do

this that’s not your standard sweetheart

you know why your baby daddy wasn’t that

the last four [ __ ] you slept with

wasn’t that so please tell me how in the

world is this your standard and you

never had it now

y’all know most of us men go to sports

a person who’s never won a championship

their standard is not a championship

that’s their goal

the standard only becomes the standard

once you obtained it and I would say

more than once so Kobe Bryant’s standard

was Championship every year Michael

Jordan’s standard was like a

championship every year LeBron’s

standard is usually Championship every

year it don’t mean they obtain it they

mean they’ve already had it more than

once and so now understand hey man we

ain’t accepting nothing less than

championship and if they fall short they

was in the playoffs

you can’t talk to us if you’ve never

even been to the playoffs if you’re

talking about championships

many of y’all ain’t never even been in

the playoffs as an engagement

the championship is marriage

y’all can’t even

say y’all got a standard and y’all hoes

can’t even keep a relationship for six

months

y’all don’t have [ __ ] beating your

doors down to fall in love with y’all

you understand me

so I wanted to debunk this whole oh this

is my standard no that’s your goal

it’s not your standard

that’s your desire now let’s pull up

desire real quick

because I know many of y’all don’t know

what definitions is you know y’all y’all

go off of what y’all think something

means

we gonna pull up desire

the definition of Desire oh

let’s hit them real quick a strong

feeling of wanting to have something or

wishing for something to happen

it’s debunked it’s debunked y’all have a

strong feeling of wanting

to have something or wishing for

something to happen

so y’all can mess us with this is your

standards all right y’all want that’s

the lower our standards no ma’am we want

you to be realistic and be used to what

you used to and tell us you got a desire

not a standard you know why because the

standard means you’d have had it before

you’re used to it you’ve tapped in with

it

now you you can be a person who let’s

just say every five years for the last

15 years

you get a new Mercedes

you get a new foreign you started with

the c you got to the e

you did what I’m saying now you worked

your way up you got a truck you got a

little GLE now you dig what I’m saying

you can say your standard is foreign you

can say your standard is luxury you

could say your standard is Mercedes

because you’ve had those cars three

times those are your standards

you can’t holla Rolls Royce is your

standard when you’ve never had a

Rolls-Royce

now if you got a Bentley

if you got other

super cars that’s in that in that

caliber yes there’s calibers Mercedes

and Rolls Royce are not in the same

caliber those are two different types of

vehicles

they both add luxury but we’re talking

two different types of vehicles two

different price points

you dig value

so I would say this for your standards

for you to get your desires and be able

to get to your standard you got to put

the work in

so what did Kobe Jordan and everybody

else do who won championships

they worked overtime they put the work

in

they absolutely

exhausted themselves to get to the goals

that they wanted to be able to have a

standard now mind you I know ladies like

I hate to add the back and forth

you did what I’m saying we could talk

about men men can say oh I want this

type girl this type girl she got to do

this this this this and this right cook

clean suck you know run in the store she

gotta look like this you gotta be like

this boom boom right

as I said I have no dog in this fight

because my standard which I don’t really

women gonna treat me amazing period why

because the one before treated me

amazing and the one before that treated

me amazing so

I got a real stand-up and it’s not even

a you gotta do this no if you’re unable

to do this I have to get someone who can

that’s a real standard if you go to a

restaurant and they say they’re a

five-star restaurant and you see roaches

or the food not hitting you you’re

allowed to leave the idea this ain’t up

this ain’t meeting my expectations cool

but fellas y’all gotta already have had

that type girl before

all I attract that I lock in with they

have to be beautiful in my eyes right

and in my opinion

if I’ve had a woman around me she’s

universally attractive

what does that mean she may not be your

type but you can’t say she’s ugly

what is universally attractive your

Beyonce’s your holly berries now mind

you those are physical attributes

we not talking about the inside because

then that’s where I go on a different

level and just deal with people who have

good Hearts who love themselves

a lot of people that we see today

they’re not in love with themselves it’s

hard for them to love themselves because

of the things of others and again we was

having this conversation I might just

have to call her up we was having this

conversation

a lot of people’s Love Languages what

they were lacking in so if you get a

girl who needs quality time her both her

parents probably work

if you get a girl who needs word for

affirmation she probably was never told

she loved a lot growing up you know we

all got love language I’m not saying

that’s 100 for everybody you did what

I’m saying because as I look back at my

life

I really wasn’t deficient and none of

the Love Languages from my parents

you dig what I’m saying like like like

dead ass like I wasn’t deficient like

they loved me properly they gave me all

the attention I needed all the gifts all

the love you dig what I’m saying all the

quality time the education you know the

conversations you know what I mean

without any manipulation

it was just yes or no around my

household

so my standard is peace even though we

went through struggles I was raised on

love and not survival

there are times where struggling and

survival is different survival is every

God day is scraping to get something

you know survival is is different than

love lies all right today we ain’t got

such and such we’re eating ramen noodles

but the house is still low We Still

rocking with each other

survival is they ain’t even got the

ramen noodle money you did what I’m

saying like they can’t even do the

bottom of the barrel meal like you know

being able to have a meal and not having

meal is different so when you in

survival mode

you don’t think properly

you dig what I’m saying you doing

anything to get to that goal that you

have

so back to my men back to my ladies

y’all have to realize the difference

between what

a standard y’all do know what the

standard is now right

something that you’re used to

and a desire a strong feeling or wanting

to have something or wishing for

something to happen

look look look down there it says

strongly wish for or one let’s let’s oh

that was it okay cool

okay

we can hit it in different dictionary

did y’all want to hit the Oxford

dictionary and see if it says something

different a strong wish to have or do

something enough money to satisfy all

your desires for something a strong

desire for power desire to do something

she felt in overwhelming desire to

return home boom okay you know what I

mean like I don’t I don’t I don’t want

y’all to think that this is a one-sided

let’s let’s just make sure we tapping in

so

let’s make a phone call can we do that

let’s make sure the Bluetooth is hooked

up let’s make a phone call and see if

any woman agree with me I don’t know

let’s see so we’re gonna let y’all know

it’s a real phone call y’all see it up

there

you did what I’m saying y’all know it’s

the real deal

but um good morning we we was talking

about right here on this ugly truth

podcast

I don’t know if you was tuned in to hear

uh about you know standards versus

desires and how women say that y’all

want us to lower our standards but how

is it a standard if you never had it and

I just wanted a woman’s perspective a

woman of quality women who have

put the work in verified themselves uh

have the results of that you know have

me and treat you properly uh so you know

you are in my book

um approved to speak on this situation

because your results that you have been

able to get from the work that you have

put in give you the

validation to speak on it so real quick

what what is your opinion of women’s

standards versus women’s desires

well a lot of women

come up with standards because I have

based on their desires and really it’s I

was tuned in earlier and really it’s

just a lack of understanding

so they don’t understand that the

difference between a standard and a one

which a lot of us I’m not gonna say yes

I’m not gonna include myself in that but

a lot of people don’t even understand

the difference between a goal and a wish

so it’s just

you know in all you’re getting you have

to get understanding so if you

understand that a standard is something

that you’ve had

and or something that is easily or

readily attainable

[Music]

because let’s say for instance

professionally you have to meet

standards right

correct when you have a job or something

correct you’ve had to already do it

[Music]

right so you have to meet the standard

in order to attain a position or

maintain the position and sometimes

in professional settings

the standards change the standards will

increase

or they will be adjusted and you have to

meet those standards

and if you’re not there you have to get

up to Park

bars I don’t know if y’all breaking down

picking up what she putting down but she

said the standards could change at times

meaning that you’re going to have to

adjust which means that you have to

continue to grow

so the work that you put in to get there

you can’t stop you got to continue I’ll

I’ll put it because uh both parties do a

lot of this which is working out

you can’t have a goal to get your body

in a certain shape and then just stop

once you get there and think it’s going

to stay in shape if your standard is

good is is good shape you know ABS ass

you know uh whatever else that women may

want out of working out you can’t get to

it obtain it and then stop it will go

away you have to continue it at minimum

you have to maintain it

then if you want to get better you got

to put more work in

so I definitely agree with what you’re

saying

um

so of course we are solution based how

do we help men and women

understand that

they can’t keep using the wrong

terminology and they don’t really have

standards that they have desires how do

you how do you break it down because

you’re a woman you can’t speak for men I

can speak for men how do we help the

women understand that

ma’am this isn’t your standard you’ve

never had it you’ve never had a [ __ ]

that makes six figures you’ve never had

a [ __ ] who was bawling you’ve never had

a [ __ ] of any status you know your your

last two baby daddies are are regular

daggler [ __ ] you digging no disrespect

to any man or anything like that you

know you could be regular and there’s

nothing wrong with it but now all of a

sudden you wake up one day with two kids

uh uh uh uh two baby daddies

and have done no different work than you

did to get the same two [ __ ] that you

got pregnant with that don’t want to be

with you and now today you wake up and

say that you’re gonna get

what we call a high value man in today’s

market you’re going to get a quality

person you know what I mean you’re gonna

get like like what’s the real net and

we’re not talking about the exception

what’s the realness of a woman who has

done no different work got two kids by

two different [ __ ] neither one of her

[ __ ] is super [ __ ]

what is the chances of her getting this

High desire

well first of all you have to look at

the criteria that you have and

when people say they want a quality man

they don’t even understand what the

characteristics of a quality man is

because what we’re doing is we’re

dumbing it down to the point we’re

saying

I don’t want a broke man

well

you don’t even know the difference or

the qualities that wealthy men possess

so instead of saying I want a wealthy

man you should say I want an ambitious

man

who has

lots of Drive who’s driven

who believes in God who prays regularly

you know what I mean we’re looking at

quote unquote standards instead of

qualities so we’re looking at that

instead of the roots go ahead I’m sorry

yes we have to we have to shift our

blend first of all okay how do you do

that though hold on we got to do one

thing at a time we know they’re a little

slow how do you even switch how do you

shift your lens how do you even do that

um and and let’s do this real quick

because you know I like to talk to 25

and younger for the young ladies how

would you tell a young lady whose mother

has two kids three kids three days from

baby daddies and that’s all she’s saying

how does she shift her lens from that

well she has to be real with herself

and her situation so let’s look at let’s

put a mirror up

to our mother to ourselves

really how was that

do you approve of that not do you love

your mama we all love our mom

do you approve of the way that that what

could she have done it differently and

would it have affected you better

so what we have to do is be what we want

so if you want somebody who is driven

then figure out your purpose and have

drive to get there

then naturally driven men will be

attracted to you

so we have to become something that

what we want will attract

so if you’re not something that somebody

you you speak about men who make six

figures that’s the thing amongst our

culture I hate the conversations around

a big figure man

here we are

okay if that’s what you want what do

most

six figure man look for

they look for someone

who looks a certain way being a visual

creature

so first of all you have to and not not

to say necessarily physically

um your face is your face

but are you College

most of the six figure man I want I I am

attracted to they want somebody who’s

polished

so you can’t leave the house with a

bonnet on talking about you one six

figure man

I agree I agree so I’m gonna ask you to

do something because I said I ain’t

gonna make this too long what is your

definition because we use a different

word than high value man around here

what is your definition of a Super [ __ ]

um

I don’t have perhaps I actually really

sit down and come up with I can give you

a few qualities yeah give me some

qualities and characteristics of a Super

[ __ ]

first of all in order to be a super

[ __ ] in my

in my in my eyes from my perspective

first and foremost you have to be a

believer and God fear

and

in our society once again let’s keep

what’s First supposed let’s keep it

first

Okay so

God’s hearing

you got to be driven you got to be

ambitious ambitious you have to be a

hustler

you have to have personality

you uh let’s see are you able to

complain are you able to complain as a

super [ __ ] a whole lot

super [ __ ] cannot complain

super [ __ ] must be solution based

if if a super ninja is

at the best you can vent for a minute

and in order to come up with a solution

and usually I’ve not met one that

complains

I’ve not met one

[Music]

they don’t do that and so

with that comes a lot

to be that person’s support

you got to be 30.

oh yeah because if you’re dealing with a

super [ __ ] you got to put a lot of hats

on you got to wear a lot of different

hats

so let me ask you this question

what three just three

what three things can a young woman 25

and under

do to prepare herself for a super [ __ ]

now there’s a bunch of different things

and we know there’s different things

that people choose people on but the

standards some of the foundational based

things that a guy is going to look for

and what what’s three things a woman can

do to prepare herself to okay yeah

perfect prepare yourself because Esther

did what and I’m gonna let you answer

but I just something just came to me

thank you Holy Spirit Esther prepared

herself for a year y’all and guess who

will help prepare her her uncle the name

start with an m like it wasn’t milk has

a diet

McCarter I forget how you say his name

but if you go read the story of Esther

her uncle prepared her for a year for

the opportunity to be in front of the

king for about five seconds because the

King was literally going through women

like ah no no you put her to the

sideways

to find him a new wife and you know why

the King was looking for a new wife

because his old wife disrespected him at

a party so he got rid of he called her

to come she said no he got rid of her

she ain’t fall in line do what she was

supposed to do he got rid of her he said

I want a new one he said it’s gonna be

at this time you know all the people

that was around him bring y’all best

she had to he taught her how to think

for a man from a man

she had to bathe for a year in different

frankincense and MERS and whatever else

that she was bathing in she had to learn

how to cook she had to be prepared so

guess what by the time she got in front

of the king she was a wife she was just

not married there is a difference

between a married woman and a wife

we associate wife with with being

married you can already be a wife and

possess the qualities that it has to be

married and not be married and that that

is the key

so the Bible says when when a man finds

a wife he finds a good thing he didn’t

it doesn’t say when he finds a woman and

she changes into a wife

you absolutely have have to be a wife

before you get married so what’s three

things that they could do and they could

be simple even if you say cooking you

can say listen get a recipe book out and

cook once a week we got to give some

concrete things to our young ladies

because it’s a solution based what is

three things that you would recommend

that you would say

um are foundational and they’re always

going to be able to use them how can

they prepare themselves I’m gonna give

you admit you got four minutes I’m gonna

let you get okay so

I hopefully I won’t use them all so

first I would say to condition yourself

so just like physically when you want to

accomplish something you have to

condition and you go through

conditioning process so I would say

people see yourself to be a wife

to be a companion so number one

practice

practice praying

um practice covering yourself sometimes

you have to lay hands on yourself

because it’ll be a time when you may

need to lay hands on your husband

so

first I would say pray

read gain understanding of the word read

Proverbs if you want to be a good woman

read Proverbs and break it down and

understand what it means to be a

proverbs 31.

it says in the Bible

the idea of proverbs

wife is loyal married capable and strong

find out what those qualities are

and do the best you can to

understand and become that number two

practically yes

a lot of women single young women you

walk in their houses nasty

they don’t cook for themselves they eat

out every day and you may find a Super

[ __ ] who doesn’t mind eating out every

day but practice cultivating a home for

yourself

I’m gonna give you an extra minute

because I gotta elaborate on that women

y’all are the leader of your households

of Health y’all have been assigned the

health of the household if anything is

going on in that house you have the

ability to feed them the right food

that’s why you have to learn about herbs

you got to learn about spices you gotta

know what foods do what you gotta learn

about recipes because you can literally

shift your household with the proper

food the reason why a lot of things is

going on a lot of these little [ __ ] is

wild and a lot of these women is hoes I

was just watching a video

and dude said something that I never

looked at before he said do you realize

how many fights go on at McDonald’s and

Popeyes and you know these uh fast food

chains

he said it’s low vibrational food

so they low vibrating so they can get

into that when you feed your husband

boyfriend kids higher vibrating food

more salads and and things that create

the the molecules in your body to do

different stuff if your man’s attitude

is a certain way you could feed him a

certain food you can tell if he ain’t

digesting the food right you did what

I’m saying if he backed up there’s

certain foods you could give y’all are

the leaders of your household of making

sure that they’re eating properly

because the food was made with love the

difference of the food that we eating

out it is made with the attitude of that

[ __ ] who do not want to be there my son

used to work for Popeyes and he used to

hate it so y’all was getting food while

he was flowering the chicken he was an

attitude of I don’t want to be here and

you getting the food after he put it in

fried and cook it and they give it to

you the girl who don’t want to be there

because she got kids and then they gonna

hand it off to the person who at the

window and she don’t want to be there so

now the food is passing on the energy of

I don’t even want to be here and got an

attitude and you eat it and wonder why

you feeling a certain way

yeah your food literally

directly to yourself

for instance if you drink uh if you make

your family

green smoothies for a week they have

almond sales from the chlorophyll and

facility so yes that definitely

and that’s a part of cultivating the

home and cultivating your environment

for what you want it to be so okay so so

continue I’m gonna interject and help

you because you got two you had two

great points which is conditioning

yourself we put up the definition of the

condition it’s the state of something

with regard to its appearance quality or

working order so you got to condition

yourself so meaning you can’t wake up

one day and be something that you want

to be you got to put the work in then

you said you know basically Proverbs 31

Woman

um being able to maintain a house is

that correct

yeah so you know maintaining the house

is keeping the house cooling cooking and

all that type thing so go ahead those

are those are two practical things for

you ladies to do start preparing

yourself acting like you already have a

husband start cooking for yourself

keeping your house clean cooking good

foods knowing what foods do recipes

having you a little Garden in the back

go ahead to point number three whatever

it may be and you can elaborate because

I took some of your time so we’re gonna

bless you with an extra 60 seconds

so the third thing I would say is to

really

work on regulating your mind and your

focus and your mindset so

obviously like we put number one 15 with

God and make sure that you have your

prayer life in order but when I say your

mindset I mean improve yourself

mentally read

learn how to make some money for

yourself whatever your craft is sharpen

your craft whatever that is whatever

your gift tap into your gifts so that

your gifts can be a blessing to the man

that you want

so your gift may be

you may have worked front desk for

somebody so you have great

organizational skills

things of that nature you may be a

teacher you may be an attorney whatever

you are make sure that you hone into

that and keep your mind open to being

able to bless your man with your gifts

so

um and also figure out how you can

adjust those things to include your

husband because at the end of the day

that’s the ultimate goal is to have your

your husband your man your person

um and come by your life so

yeah I would say definitely get your

mind oh and check your attitude and the

way you speak you can practice in the

way you speak to other people just other

men in general even other women and

um

make sure that you’re

being a woman being that you’re feminist

because a man does not want another man

if that’s the if that’s the point he

will be homosexual

he wants a woman and they want softness

from us because they have to be hard in

the world

so practice being soft and

you don’t have to be quote-unquote just

be soft because you can control and you

can influence with softness as well so

practice being soft being feminine

while seeing intelligent and Powerful

bars bars femininity is actually the

power because if you’re not arguing and

fussing with a [ __ ] there’s nothing for

him to argue on fussing with and then

he’s more subject to do as

you need to get your desires fulfilled

you did hey so we we got it on the

screen things to prepare condition you

know we talked on that be a homemaker

your prayer life having a good mind and

your attitude so would you say it would

be a good thing for them to be able to

learn how to deal with difficulty to

deal with

um

uh yeah difficulty

um just different circumstances in life

how you reply versus how you react how

you respond and reply if they can

practice on that of not proving your

point to someone that you don’t need to

prove a point with so basically I’m

gonna elaborate on what she’s saying so

in your prayer Life as we read this

morning on Bible time with the king is

talking about discretion when you have

discretion and you know what a fool is

you don’t argue with a fool when there’s

someone it says a foolish person does

not want to know the truth they only

want to get their point across and rebel

they only want to scoff at you meaning

they only want to clown with you they

want to bring you down to they BS so as

a woman once you

see that this person has no desire to

even be on the same page you you ignore

that and you remove yourself from that

situation

I want to talk to the men but I think in

my opinion I want you to tell me if it’s

different now mind you trying to smash a

woman and trying to be with a woman I

believe is two different things I think

[ __ ] try to smash women out of they

leave but I don’t think they try to be

with women out of their league because

they know that they ain’t gonna be able

to keep that up but I think man no you

gotta have your mind right to get your

money right

to have your body right

to be able to even have the kind of

girls that a lot of people say that they

want so I I don’t know do you see it in

the community of men trying to keep not

not smash yeah because [ __ ] is going

to try to smash whatever woman that

y’all feel is the most attractive and he

ain’t got to have a dollar

but do you feel men are trying to keep

these women and they don’t have no

motion they they not you know they don’t

have no what they call status you know

what I mean meaning they not respected

by other men do you feel that that’s a

large problem in our community the men

are trying to get women who are wives

and they’re not prepared to be husbands

or do you feel like most of these men

know what they can and can’t do

I I feel like

on either side men

in our society today are not being

prepared to be husbands either okay all

right

elaborate because I got a different

Outlook but elaborate right so

what it takes to be a man everybody

wants to respect when it’s time to talk

about being a man everybody wants to be

a man until it’s time to be one

so being a man yes you get a certain

level of respect the utmost respect

once again

we live in a society of complaining men

in my book that’s not a quality of a man

if you’re a man and you’re complaining

that’s an oxymoron hold on hold on let’s

talk about that are are we are we

talking about these podcasts or are you

talking about the men that you see every

day are complaining because I think

that’s two different things I think um

all right how many men do you do you

encounter

throughout the day

that it did it true honest manhood

well honestly I think that um

you’re around me enough to know that not

around a [ __ ] I’m around the hoes all

day

I don’t kick it with [ __ ] and the

[ __ ] that I would stamp us solidify

they all across the city

the ones that you would stamped that’s

what I’m saying the ones that I was

saying

that’s just like asking me about my

circle of women who all married

everybody

is married in your circle

Mary or have been married because it’s a

few of us

that are no longer married but it’s been

to the point where yes we were to

caliber a woman where somebody decided

yes I want to spend I I want to marry

you

you know what I mean so I asked the

question we’re getting off track what do

you want do I encounter men to do what

complain

man and a husband

so being a husband

carries a lot of weight it’s

understandable let me answer the

question I’m not being funny I don’t

think that I am

approved to answer that because all due

respect like I’m not being funny you

don’t see me hanging out the only mans

that you can probably see that I hang

out with is my oldest son

I got a partner you know what I mean

shout out to my partner we we kick it

but we don’t see I don’t really hang

with [ __ ] and that is something that I

need to fix I need to get around more

Super [ __ ] and more great men but I

don’t hang around [ __ ]

you did what I’m saying like everybody

that’s helping me right now in my circle

90 I ain’t gonna say everybody is a

woman

okay so I have um I don’t even know what

his his title would be but I have a very

awesome person who helps me with all of

my houses and Endeavors and businesses

and does it and he he does my lawn and I

I don’t know because I just don’t want

to call him my yard man because he more

than that he does everything

the man rarely complains he has attitude

issues certain times but how often do we

hear Aaron complain

oh no

um he might complain a little bit but he

moves on and out of a one through ten

how often does Aaron meet or exceed

expectations of what I need him to do

well listen

okay

great example

okay

he meets

what he basically the good outweighs the

bad let’s just say that

whatever he does in his work ethic

outweighs whatever short comments he may

have and that’s a good metaphor to use

and let’s look at that though

so

in that aspect

is he consistent

is he reliable

if he says that he’s going to do

something or be somewhere do you 100

believe it it’s his word his bond not

necessarily all the time no I don’t

think nobody 100 of the time is is I

don’t think anybody is a hundred percent

of the time but I do believe as a man

your word has to be your bond okay they

cannot you can’t break your word go

ahead you can’t break your word as a man

so that’s a good idea and this is what I

think we do with our men a lot well at

least he will at least he will look at

him he better let’s not compare

ourselves to the least

but let’s be realistic now this is a

good conversation so sometimes Aaron

come through and sometime he don’t more

or less I’m gonna give you my 85 15

right

so Aaron gonna come through 85 percent

of the time he said he gonna come

through

not only is Aaron gonna come through

he’s going to exceed 90 of the time of

what I want to get done like all right

do this and he’s gonna get done too fast

I’m about to find other stuff for him to

do to get it done now mind you this

person is a Dr a jack of all trades

most of his work is not going to be in

the Hall of Fame

but the price the timing and the ability

to get it done and the availability

because other [ __ ] be two three weeks

out and I can call on Aaron and he can

get it done

and which might take a [ __ ] four days

Aaron’s going to do in a day and it’s

going to be

uh um I only want to say a 30 it’s gonna

be way less than half of the price that

someone else so

you gotta what you call pick your [ __ ] I

would rather deal with on the business

side a man who comes through 85 percent

of the time and a hundred percent gets

done what you need to get done versus

the [ __ ] who came over the other day

and looked at my AC unit took 50 from me

and never came back and showed up like

[ __ ] came

but didn’t do what he was supposed to do

cool whatever you know bro if you

finessing for fifty dollars use a hoe go

ahead on about your business I ain’t

tripping about it you did what I’m

saying take that go about your business

but put it into context real quick so we

could stay on task is

we gotta look at

the standard of what we’re holding

people to now mind you do I be

frustrated when he don’t come through

yeah but if I really look at what he’s

done and what he succeeded so I would

say this ladies if your guys exceeded

your expectation and sometime he falls

short you’re gonna have to have that

Grace like because you’re so used to

okay you have to give Grace and you have

to determine what’s important what do I

always say keep the main thing the main

thing so

if he does something you don’t like

um whatever it may be I don’t know every

man is different they also so different

and they’re all the same right so you

have some men who may want to decompress

by playing a video game

you may have somebody else who wants to

go play golf you might have somebody

else who

um spent some time outside of the home

within the community coaching football

because that’s his Hobby and you want

time at home but if this man is doing

most of the things like we talk about

you’re going to get 80 of what you need

but let’s talk about these standards and

the qualities that are important

what does Paul give six things that the

man of God should pursue right

elaborate righteousness

okay

virtues righteousness

godliness

faith

love bad fastness and gentleness

go ahead yeah

um

a lot of

[Music]

be compassionate and kind

even as a man

and I think our men struggle with that

because

they’re trying to be hard no no no it’s

because some I can’t speak for all but

because it’s so much this thing and

something that we’ve seen that is very

important that should be brought to

America is that young lady is still in

jail in Dubai because she was yelling at

a man she said the man was yelling at

her so she yelled back once you come at

that man with that energy and even if

he’s yelling as you said earlier that

softness

we’ll have him shut up like you know

what she ain’t even going back and forth

like man I told you to do such and such

you can just gracefully bow out or oh I

have something for the women I’m sorry

that’s something that worked for me when

I was recognizing a very very young age

how to

because a lot of these things are

interchangeable with life and

relationships it’s just navigating you

teaching them how to navigate again to

put it in perspective 25 minutes usually

because a lot of times the world

to people

the way we’re supposed to in the world

but then we don’t bring it home and we

talk Reckless to our partners at home

one thing I started doing a long time

ago is I hit you on my mouth

when I feel myself going there

in whatever Direction I’m going in it’s

nothing to take a beat that doesn’t mean

I have to shut up permanently

I am pressing you on my mouth because

guess what we can’t take that you can’t

take the words back Bridle your tongue

bars biblical bars

press the new plate

be quiet it’s okay to be quiet I think a

lot of times say that again

be quiet all right go ahead be quiet

it’s okay to be quiet like

and I get it because sometimes as women

we feel so misunderstood and we feel so

unseen and unheard and people are not

getting it

talking louder is not going to help

it so just be as a matter of fact

being quiet might get your point across

a little bit better

and it’ll allow you whatever you do in

your moment like you say

Lord help me find a word

[Music]

because the Bible says pray about

everything

so you you asked God about everything

and that’s that’s really the key to all

this is what we’re talking about as far

as cousins and wives because we exclude

that when he getting on your nerves ask

God how do I deal with this man

how do I help him okay let’s let’s let’s

let’s let’s be realistic right like so

let’s give a scenario

she’s misunderstood they standing in the

kitchen it’s starting so this right

quick I always got a sidebar so it says

it’s better not to start a coral because

it’s like opening up um a barrel of

water and how can you stop water once

you start flowing long story short so

the coral is finna get heated

and they going back and forth when they

in the kitchen talking well I said and

he’s raising his voice she raised her

voice he raised his voice a little

louder

at that point

what should she do

when your man if you’re really trying to

have this dialogue

is you got two options when your man

raised his voice lower yours

because when you lower your voice he has

to quiet down in order to hear you

if he doesn’t

quiet now he can’t hear you so yeah once

again yelling is not no one is hearing

when you’re yelling

not everybody have a good argument every

now and then

it it’s human you know what I mean cool

as long as the main thing is the main

thing that we’re attacking is the main

thing but you’re not at the point where

you’re yelling at each other United you

no longer so again what do she do do she

leave walk away and go pray how do she

do what you’re saying like hey okay what

do she do give a practical you don’t

have to give okay literally yeah

it’s getting heated

pause let him get it out

be quiet

whatever he said

and then

okay if what is your main thing in that

moment all right you’re raising your

voice at me and I feel it well enough in

my spirit

babe

why are you yelling at me like that can

we just talk regularly

I am because you’re not understanding me

what I’m saying I’m talking to you I’m

telling you what I’m saying and

apparently I got to raise my voice for

it to get through to you

okay babe no you don’t okay do you

understand what I’m saying then do you

understand what I’m saying

I’m trying to understand so let’s talk

about it

that just was trying to understand that

just worked because there’s something

inside of a man wants that respect level

is there

are are we we only have to use the word

respect once that challenging ooh that’s

a bar thank you Holy Spirit once that

challenging factor is removed because

now we’re feeling challenged

in the wrong way once you digress from

that challenge and say look I’m not

trying to challenge you I’m trying to

get an understanding a man will hear you

out because a man’s goal is to walk on

water fire rocks heat hell to please his

woman

so when do she go pray when do like all

right let’s just say all right boom like

that situation

[Music]

pray right there why are you looking at

it it don’t have to be you don’t have to

get in your knees and go to your prayer

closet every time you pray

[Music]

just take a beat with what I’m saying

take a beat and you have to do this with

your children you have to do this in

several different situations so do they

have to put their feelings to the side

since women feel so much they feel feel

feel feel

in that moment when she feels like she’s

not being heard doesn’t she have to go

against those inordinate feelings to be

able to get to the goal she’s trying to

go to or are she able to stay in her

feelings you have to reel it in and push

down let me tell you this from a woman’s

perspective although I’m saying to be

quiet

I’m not saying that it’s not a sea of

emotion inside of you because as women

yes we’re feeling it very heavily and in

the moment like when people I wasn’t

raised with people raising their voice

at me

so I get emotional when people are

yelling at me I get like

period like I’m I’m angry I’m I’m

feeling a whole lot of emotions

so I don’t deal well with people yelling

at me

so you I’m gonna have that approach

and it takes two people

this man has to have his emotions in

check also because you’re not some men

out here who don’t have control of their

emotions

but you have to have two

people who are in control

in order for this to work because if you

got a [ __ ] who who about to bust you

upside your head and you saying things

that that’s not gonna work either

because something you want that click

that quick

he’s out of here right but is that

awesome

before you get to that level with a man

and determine if that’s what you want

what’s that what’s that word called

yes

discretion you gotta have discretion

y’all both can’t be hot-headed and and

trying to have a romantic relationship

but before we get out of here I’m gonna

tell people this right here right the

coldest the best the most encouraging

the most uplifting the most significant

the most rewarding relationship that a

person is going to have is their

relationship with their lord and savior

if you dealing with the person who is

always going outside of themselves to

get validation going outside of

themselves to get answers

it’s going to be a whirlwind on a

regular basis you gotta have somebody

that’s tapped into the top end of the

tap in is that they’re going to God for

things in as a woman

y’all can say certain things to us to

make us think right so we tell y’all our

vision y’all repeated too is help us do

it but if you was to be like babe is

this the way God wants you to talk to me

right now

y’all can check us with love

because the way two men talk to each

other we could go at each other’s throat

and be cool right afterwards like if

anybody ever seen lean on me how them

two [ __ ] argue to them come on let’s

go get something to eat that’s not the

case with when men and women go at it

because there’s two different challenges

going on there’s the there’s the feeling

of this [ __ ] don’t love me nor respect

me and then there’s the feeling for the

man of you disrespectful and I can show

you what your mouth can get you there’s

a problem when a woman use her mouth for

a weapon and a man uses hands for a

weapon on her but that’s what happens

that’s that’s it’s almost I’m not gonna

say it’s impossible but it’s a very

common cause that once a man to put his

hands on a woman her mouth been running

for a while he’d have told her to shut

up several times he’d have told her

don’t say it no more more than once Hey

listen man shut up let’s just talk about

something real quick we got three more

minutes but

that story where that young man just

shot and killed that boy who punched

that woman which he shouldn’t have put

his hands on what did he tell her

shut up don’t say nothing else to me

and what did she do she continued to

talk now she to traumatized her 14 year

old boy I’m just saying from both

perspectives you know what I mean that

boy should have never touched that woman

I agree

cool

she could have solved that whole

situation by removing herself from the

situation all right this [ __ ] ready to

beat my head in

but no she kept talking that man was hot

I’m telling you shut up man don’t say

nothing else to me

boom he hit her the little [ __ ] shoot

bow okay cool that’s how the scenario

played out in hindsight we could look at

it and say okay these are two people

arguing what was the woman supposed to

do what was the man supposed to do at

the end of the day the woman really kind

of controlled the situation now if she

was to be quiet and not say nothing he

hit her or if she removed herself yeah

pop that [ __ ]

but if she would have shut up I think

that situation would have went totally

different

if she would have pushed the mute button

for a moment I think that situation

would have went totally different

because women are now stepping some

are stepping into the road that I could

do what you could do you can’t talk to

me no kind of what yes we can

that’s why men Run the World

I can say whatever I want to you you

can’t and this is even with men men can

say whatever to any man long as they can

whip their ass

you can’t say nothing to me player if

you came with me

and that’s how men view things the way

we talk to each other is the level of

respect that we have for each other of

what’s going to happen because if you

call me out of my name or if you do

something that I don’t like it’s going

to turn violent period women are are

wanting passes for using man language

and fighting terms and oh no well you

shouldn’t hit a woman I Just Disagree

you talk like a [ __ ] you gonna get this

work like a [ __ ] you understand so

that’s the thing that you said was very

important women got to learn how to hit

the mute button remove themselves from

environments and stop trying to prove

that they this that or the third now

mind you Shawty could have pulled out

and popped him boom whatever and that

still would have been a problem

because women have egos or whatever you

want to call I want to be no at this

time it’s not time for you to be heard

now your son is going to be trying 14 he

to smoke the [ __ ] so it’s two things

gonna happen three

hopefully you know he got the Lord and

Savior and he’ll be all right and and

gotta help him out two he just smoked a

[ __ ] and got away with it he gonna go

on the smoking spree or three he gonna

be traumatized because he’s going to be

having to deal with that [ __ ] at night

all because his mama didn’t know how to

shut up

and we can see it I want you to you

could play Devil’s Advocate why do she

gotta shut up you can say that why she

gotta shut up why he couldn’t just

it’s not the case once a man is in I

believe two people two things to be true

at one time

go ahead go ahead

sometimes you have to reduce yourself

and keep the main thing as a mother it’s

your job to protect your child

she didn’t do a good job at protecting

him because you can’t be fighting this

man and protecting your child at the

same time

oh

I understand to a certain degree but as

a mother how is it your is it your job

to protect your child or prepare your

child in that situation that we’re

talking about it was her

job to protect her child yeah

I think in our culture a lot of women

well of course they are in the role of

the [ __ ] so yeah they’re protecting

their child when they should be

preparing their child which means they

should be nurturing and having their

child prepared for certain things

somebody prepared their young man to

bust that ass

it and pick up the heat and do what he

had to do so somebody prepared him for

something that I don’t know who taught

him that who prepared him for that but

at the end of the day in that scenario

I’m talking about me as a mother

have been you know one of my pet peeves

living in a city

when it my son was younger was for a man

to come up in bed for months I didn’t

want him to see that

because even sometimes it’ll be on my

heart to kiss but

like dropping you my son you know what I

mean

so I believe

14 year old if you’re out with a 14 year

old as a mother it’s still your job to

make sure he’s good you protect them

so I’m not going to get an altercation

with any man with a 14 year old boy he

got hormones

he trying to stick his chest out

I wouldn’t argue with a man in public

with my son there to this day

he’s 20.

I’m going to try to avoid conflict

because I don’t want to see my son crash

out because he’s going to crash out

behind me and I know this

I don’t want to see

any man that I love crash out behind me

now

if it gets to that point and I can’t

avoid it that’s one thing because

everybody knows I’m not confrontational

so I’m gonna try to avoid it

to protect my grown son especially my 14

year old son that’s just me so I’m not

trying to place blame on that lady I

wasn’t there for the whole scenario no

no I agree when he told her to be quiet

and I did see where she kept talking

then she deserved to be hit absolutely

not no absolutely not and and and for me

I don’t know that family I’m not I’m

just using y’all scenario as a learning

point I I’m not trying to say if she’s

right or if she’s wrong but I can say

she’s right or wrong from a teaching

standpoint that situation is that

situation but I wouldn’t say something

that came to me and I keep saying the

Holy Spirit bringing

they were getting some low vibration

food

if you think about I said that look

where they was at

and guess what if she was preparing food

at home this situation would have never

happened if she was cooking for her kid

at home and listen to the people like oh

well we can’t go and get on eat that’s

not the point we could go out and get

something to eat that’s not the point

but if she was making food at home for

that young man with love and not at a

low vibrational place you can avoid a

lot of things the Bible says a smart man

sees evil and he hides himself a fool

sees evil and pursues and suffers the

consequences and are punished the point

of it all is say staying out the land of

the fatherless in my opinion the land of

the fatherless is the hood

so it’s certain environments that you

don’t need to be in after a certain time

at their certain place I mean there’s

certain places that you just shouldn’t

be going everywhere ain’t for everybody

you can’t have on the tire of a harlot

and expect [ __ ] to treat you like a

queen

and what is the attire of a harlot when

any man can look at you

and see body parts and skin and arouse

them in a sexual way what women don’t

know and I don’t think they associate

the two

you are marketing yourself once there is

a sexual

Vibrance that you’re giving off of the

way that you look that’s the reason why

they wear it what’s it called a hijab

whatever they call

and they covered themselves in the Bible

and every religion say cover yourself so

that men are not sexually aroused if you

go out here and you got a mini skirt on

and you got your side boobs showing you

dig what I’m saying all your legs is out

and you got no panties on and your

surprise [ __ ] is getting at you it’s

the same thing with attitudes if your

attitude is provoking a man what do you

think is gonna happen I don’t believe in

raping no woman I do believe that uh uh

if you jump in the pit with alligators

you’re gonna get your ass ate if you go

in an area where a bunch of fatherless

[ __ ] is dressed half naked these

[ __ ] is gonna get at you and it’s

possibly you gonna be raped is it right

no but is it reality yes these are the

things that happen what is the chances

of a [ __ ] walking around with thirty

thousand dollars and a hood that he’s

not from counting it

I brought a bunch of other broke [ __ ]

it’s probably likely they’ve been a line

little homie up or big homie up because

you is out of bounds and that’s the

thing of saying when you see evil Hydra

you out of bounds don’t be out of bounds

so with these so-called standards that

you women have you’re out of bounds you

don’t have standards sweetheart you have

desires so the show today was standards

versus desires let’s use the right word

an episode before that y’all can go see

it was Independence versus

interdependent in my opinion a woman

cannot be independent and be in a

relationship because it means not

relying on another source not relying on

another for nothing not being under no

one’s Authority

if you have these standards and you’ve

never had them if you have standards and

never was able to have them them are not

standards those are desires you cannot

have standards that you never had now

you can have desires you can have once

you can say I am now seeking this in my

life and I’m not saying that y’all can’t

have that but a standard is something

that you’re used to as we get ready to

close out I want to make sure y’all

understand a standard is something that

you’re used to a standard is the norm

a standard is not a desire

I can’t say oh okay well every day I

want to my standard now is two million

dollars a day whoa player so you go for

making three million in a year to 2

million in the day that’s your standard

or that’s your goal and if you look at

any business

their standard is only what they’ve done

the year before now that’s the standard

once they did okay last year we did 350

million dollars you know cool that’s the

standard now that’s the that’s where we

want to keep up

they can’t say the standard is 700

million they never made 700 million they

can say that’s the goal or the projected

sales for this year you can project

sales but it’s not a standard again

that’s their desire to get there

so I want to make sure that we

understand the difference between

standard and desires so that we can have

these proper conversations and we can

actually have proper dialogue

and put ourselves in the proper

positions because you want to prepare

yourself as she said you want to

condition yourself you want to check

your attitudes you want to pray you want

to read to be able to get to your goals

so what you ladies have is goals y’all

don’t have standards oh y’all want me to

lower my standards no we’re not even

telling you to lower your goals if

that’s your goal that’s your goal what

we’re saying is

what work are you putting in to get to

your goal there’s 500 positions in the

NBA and there’s millions of [ __ ]

playing this game every year there’s

thousands of college kids trying to get

to the NBA every single year thousands

hundreds of thousands trying to get 500

positions what are you doing to put

yourself to get a one of those 500

positions and that’s what we’re saying

to women what are you doing because a

great woman is going to get her doors

beat down

to put the bid in oh she good

everybody’s gonna even the Bible says

another man has to see your value

if no one sees your value you’re not

valuable to that man

vice versa we could talk to the [ __ ]

you can’t be you know uh uh having no

motion going on no purpose living no no

no type of

excellence in your life and you want

this woman to cook clean and then you

want her to go to work too and you want

her to raise the kids too and you wanted

to go half on the bills that’s not gonna

work like that now mind you when y’all

younger

I think it’s better for young folk to

get together and they could come up and

get it out the mud together but once you

get over the age of 30 for a woman you

need to be dealing with a man that’s on

point and fellas once you get over the

age of 30 you need to be dealing with a

woman that’s on point that’s already

trained let me tell y’all something for

a week out I’m trying to hurry up and

close

you can’t fix their mind they mind is

they mine you can only find somebody

that was a part of your tribe man that’s

all you could do is find somebody that’s

a part of your tribe meaning they think

and have your core values already

and you can add to what they have that’s

the only thing you could do is add to

what they have you can’t convince them

to change their core values because it

is impossible that’s who they are at the

core you cannot change that I don’t care

what religion they believe in they’re

still going to have core values and

belief systems that are unerasable their

hard drive is their hard drive

if you’re not able to put their your

software on their hard drive there’s

nothing you can do we can stop the

conversation by just choosing properly

take a quick assessment is this person

meant for me to help out in my life

because I told my mother the other day A

woman has to feel like

her mission in life is to deal with a

[ __ ] like me

to help me fulfill my purpose if that’s

not her Mission if she wants to have

this super career this that’s cool I

know that’s not for me though

and we’re trying to change people to fit

us because they have

five out of the 10 things that we may

want

and now we’re trying to change them to

get to 10 out of 10 but that’s not what

they’re called to do you have women that

are called to help

help me all women are called to help me

but in today’s time you got women who

want to go 50 50. you got the boss

brawls who want to have the boss

relationship you got women who want to

do nothing

you got women who actually want to lead

[ __ ] hey my ideals are better so

everything is okay

just pick your [ __ ] of what’s gonna make

you better you got any last words before

we tap out

basically my my last words would be

to work on yourself

all this relationship yes ideas

suggestions tips whatever you want to

call it it’s null and void if you

haven’t done the work on yourself and

became the person that you’re going to

add value to any relationship that

you’re in so just work on yourself be

happy with yourself and where you’ve

gotten the point that you’ve made it to

and then bring that

don’t bring

submit into anybody’s relationship don’t

do that so definitely work on yourself

and

um you become what you want to attract

oh that’s a borrowing ain’t gonna jump

into that because that’ll be a whole new

episode but definitely become what you

want to attract I definitely agree on

that y’all can follow us on all the

social media platforms The Ugly Truth on

Tick Tock uh the ugly truth on Instagram

Facebook

all social media platforms we got a

website that’s coming up is actually in

the process of being built right now so

we appreciate y’all for tapping in with

us man today’s episode was standards

versus desires putting thing in a proper

perspective uh we have Queen Medina and

King Edward we are now signing off and

we appreciate y’all

until much time they buy a hoodie oh boy

 

 

About the author call_made

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Timestamp

  • fast_forward01:09:22 The Ugly Truth Podcast - Women's Standards vs. Desires Exposed! 🔥

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